In this day and age when you are capable of having your own set of ideas and opinions for most things in life, very often you will manage to find someone of your choice who you think fits the bill of the right life partner.
So when you broach this with your folks you are, often, instantly met with disapproval. Your parents will tell you that, after all the smartness they credit you with, marriage decisions are best taken with the advice of elders. They will bring to fore logic and reasons from their own perspective. They will highlight the differences in family, culture, tradition, language, eating habits or even profession. In some cases they may be disparaging of the girl’s family or even the girl.
The way you respond to this situation is crucial for you to make any head way. You need to stay your ground and explain to your folks how their concerns are all surmountable and in today's metropolitan life, the difference in one's personality caused by one's family’s tradition or profession are largely mitigated if not negated.
In the next stage of this saga you will find your folks completely ignoring the idea of this girl in your life for that matter even the idea of your marriage. They do not mention it and will ignore or stonewall any discussion with regards to your marriage plans. They will be oblivious or pretend as if such an idea doesn’t exist.
Getting to the next stage will depend on your response. Foremost, you must not let your determination fray. Second, indicate to your folks that you are willing to go ahead with the marriage even without their involvement.
In this stage your folks will once again disapprove but will now cite a different set of reasons. They will now use sentimental or emotional pressure. They will talk about how they had been planning for your marriage since you were a kid etc.
If, now you do not budge from your point it could have two possible results.
A) This is the more common result. Congratulations, your folks have at last come around and they are now talking dates, ensuring enough time to be able to organize things properly.
B) They harden their stand and oppose it tooth and nail. Don’t despair, you go ahead and get married. Congratulations.
Remember time is a great healer and a grand child can melt the toughest of hearts. However, should you actually have made a wrong decision; do not be afraid to discuss this with your folks so that a possible resolution can be achieved.
Post Script
For Men
1)If you have doubts in the first stage itself, then may be you should reconsider your decision.
2)Folks, in some part of their head/ heart believe that this girl is only a passing fad and that is why they try to buy time and tend to ignore it.
For Women
1)If you don’t stand by your man, there is little he can do.
2)Trust you have chosen the right guy, for a vast majority of men chicken out in the second and third stage.
For parents
1)Try and show reason – real, logical reasons to your son.
2)Try and explain your point instead of ignoring or stonewalling it.
3)If the son fails to see the logical reasons and is making a bad decision then damn yourself for not giving your child enough common sense.
